Our True Beauty series features the most influential and stylish women in Texas. We take a peek inside their closets, their minds, and their hearts to find out what makes them truly passionate. Today’s post features Kirsten Thompson, San Antonio stylist and outspoken advocate for her community. In the current climate of our nation, I asked her to speak to the Haute in Texas audience in the hopes that her powerful words would touch some minds, open some hearts, and create a necessary dialogue our society needs to have. I hope you’ll find that her thoughts are both provoking and positive, which are two words that could describe Kirsten as well. She is as smart as she is stylish, and I’m honored to call her a friend.
Photo Credit: Larry Johnson
Haute in Texas: Hello Kirsten! Thanks for chatting with us today.
Kirsten Thompson: I want to thank Haute in Texas for reaching out to me for this feature. ‘True Beauty’ is something that I aspire to in both my personal and professional lives, so this means a lot to me. My idea of beauty is one of transcendence. In my everyday work, I have an opportunity to help beautify individuals – whether they be everyday people wanting to elevate their personal style or working with professional models on commercial projects. My purpose is to help people express themselves through their outward appearance, but anyone I have ever worked with will also tell you that cultivating the inward is just as important to me. Even more important, actually. It’s spiritual. Beauty begins within. I have always felt this way and always will.
HIT: We love that. Diving right into it, can you tell us what it’s like to be black in America right now?
KT: To be Black in America right now is, by my estimation, the very definition of dramatic irony. I mentioned this to someone a few weeks ago and used Shakespeare’s work as an example. For example, we just had a major holiday on the 4th of July where people celebrated the Independence of this nation. Yet people of African descent in the U.S. have to reconcile the fact that our ancestors were still enslaved and considered property at the signing of the Declaration of Independence. Imagine what this does to the human pysche. It causes a cognitive dissonance. This is a recent example, but there are many others. The fact that history has modern-day implications may sound like a stretch to some, considering that things were much worse before the civil rights era. But what I am alluding to is the the mental state of America as a whole. Although great strides have been made, the chasm that still exists far exceeds the ground that has already been covered.
Regardless of what things appear to be on the surface, there is a duality present. Most Black people in this country understand that we are held to a different standard by the general populace. And because of this, we also have to hold ourselves to a different standard. That difference of standards is often unfair, but it is also the difference between being able to provide for our families or not. Being viewed as educated or not. And in some instances, as we’ve seen more recently – the difference between life and death. I will say, however, that I am very proud of the people, my ancestors included, who survived, fought, sacrificed, and worked so tirelessly to ensure that someone like me can have the life experiences that I have had. So that so many of us could have it better than they did. But, I want to be clear in also saying that it is wholly possible to be grateful for the life I have while simultaneously understanding that we have a long way to go in terms of true equality.
HIT: How can people of different races support the Black Lives Matter movement, or whichever movement you feel the most strongly connected to?
KT: Sometimes people feel most effective if their work is done in connection with a movement. Their voices are amplified and efforts are intensified because of the sheer numbers involved. I understand that, because movements offer solidarity and validity. I believe that Black Lives Matter as a movement is offering people all of those things and I believe that those words need to be spoken. It offers a counter narrative to the reality that we are currently witnessing. We are being shown in some very insidious ways that the consensus is that Black live do not matter. There is a lot of resistance to the movement and some people actually fear it because it upsets the status quo. This lets me know that there is validity to it. But, with that being said, I also do not align myself with any movement other than this:
I am a human being.
I am a Black woman. I am a Mother. A daughter. A Sister. An aunt. A friend to many. And I have rights. Not ones given to me by a government. But sovereign rights as a living being in this universe. That is what some people have a hard time understanding. Personally, I am not going to ask anyone for rights because they are already mine. Unfortunately, a lot of people either cannot grasp that or simply do not want to. There is work to be done, so I do the work in the ways that I see fit.
People of different ethnic origins are all the same race: Human. The best thing people can start to do is to realize that we are more alike than unalike. The most important place to start is with education. I see a lot of willful ignorance because people don’t even have a basic grasp of world history. If people truly knew and understood history of the beginnings of mankind, there wouldn’t even be a lot of this racial rhetoric and hate. I also recommend that people get out of their bubbles. I have seen time and time again that people often assume the worst about other ethnic groups because they literally only associate with people who look just like themselves. It may be uncomfortable but it is necessary. I also believe that listening is paramount. You cannot tell a person or a group of people that their experiences are an illusion, but that seems to be what many want to do. We have all been in situations where we just wanted someone to listen. The same applies here. When Black people tell people about injustices or biases, there tends to be an automatic tendency to try to discredit those experiences. And that does absolutely nothing for anyone but cause contention. And last, turn off the TV. I can’t stress that one enough. There is a reason the entertainment and news is referred to as “programming”.
HIT: If you could tell the “white moderate” population of America to make one change, what would it be?
KT: One change … hmm, that is a tough one. My suggestion would be, work to make the world a place that you would be okay with living in if the roles were reversed and you were Black. Or Native American. Or Inuit. Or any indigenous group of people. Be honest with yourself. Then … whatever that work is, do it. Even if you don’t know where to start. Look for a starting place, stretch yourself, and start somewhere. My other suggestion is that people stop avoiding conversations that make them uncomfortable. That is the definition of privilege, opting out of speaking or acting because it makes one uncomfortable, yet another group has literally no choice but to live with the challenges of racial disparity every day of their lives.
HIT: Where do we go from here?
KT: This is another tough question, but I will answer with a quote from Martin Niemöller, one that sums up exactly where we are headed unless we collectively find our humanity:
“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—
Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.”
HIT: Give us some sense of your hopes for your children’s future?
KT: My hope is the hope of every other parent. That my child has an opportunity to laugh and be a child. My hope is that I don’t have to continue to have the, “Because you are Black you have to” talks. I want him to be able to discover himself on his own terms and grow up into a healthy, well-adjusted, and happy adult. My hope is that his Brown skin is not seen as a threat to those with small minds or sheltered lives. That his greatness is seen exactly for what it is; I hope that people have an opportunity to be inspired by him rather than choosing to threatened or intimidated by him because of something as arbitrary as his physicality. My hope is that he never has to conform to make anyone else feel comfortable. And I want him to know true freedom. I don’t care what he does secularly as long as he can be free in the sovereign sense. But “faith without works is dead”, so although I have all of these hopes for him, I also accept the reality of what is. And I make sure to prepare him. As a Mother who loves and care for my child, this is my responsibility. How can I not?
HIT: What about MLK’s dream? Has it evolved? Has it been tarnished?
KT: This is always a tricky question because most people are only familiar with the most popular lines of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s ‘I Have A Dream’ speech. But if you listen to the speech in its entirety you’ll see that his dream cannot be reduced into such simplistic terms. We were all taught the lines about children holding hands and walking together but there is so much more substance to that speech and what he worked for. The full text can be found here.
If you look at the work of Dr. King, in the short time he was here, you’ll see that he worked tirelessly until the end to eradicate the suffering of Black Americans. And he was assassinated shortly after he began to realize that his work was not enough on his own; he had begun to realized that Black America had been issued a “bad check; a check marked insufficient funds”.
I don’t have all of the answers. But what I do know is that just as Dr. King said, “They have come to realize that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom”, I understand that it is going to take ALL of us.
Photo Credit: Larry Johnson
THANK YOU, Kirsten, for being so brave and being willing to speak out. I made a commitment when I featured Christian as our True Beauty a few months ago to show more diversity on this blog, and your words today are a HUGE step forward in that direction.
If anyone has any questions for Kirsten or for me, please comment in the section below. I only ask that you keep the discussion respectful, and with the objective of simply LEARNING and LOVE. These are the two values that will take us the furthest in making this world a better place for EVERYONE in it.
XO,
A
