While I was home in Indiana over Christmas break, my sister and I took a trip to the store to find her a belt. We brought Cora along and as we went to check out, Cora started to whimper that she wanted to help sign the credit card signature pad. I don’t know why, but it’s become her latest thing to help me sign EVERYTHING. Of course, this time I wasn’t particularly in the mood, and there wasn’t the usual button for her to hit “accept” like I usually let her do. As she continued to whine, complain, and borderline have a tantrum, I finally acquiesced and let her hold the pen and “sign”. The gentleman behind the counter made some sort of half-snarky comment like, “Oh, that NEVER would have worked for me when I was little.”
When we finally made it to the car, my sister (who is in college and doesn’t have kids yet) and I started talking about parenting. How that kind sir was implying that back in the day parents never gave in to their kids. Back in the day parents were firm and steadfast with their rules. Back in the day kids never threw a tantrum or they were quickly swatted on the behind. And I get it. I really do, and it would be awesome if I could find parenting to be this simple black and white scenario.
But the thing is, it’s not black and white. Sometimes it’s about picking your battles. And it seems to be that way for me ESPECIALLY since I’ve been pregnant. Trying to raise a tantrum-prone toddler while simultaneously growing her baby sister is no joke. It’s exhausting. How do you find the line between a household that is peaceful and a household that is structured? Or does the structure bring about peace? Is it just a matter of drawing the line first and then somehow finding the energy to follow through after?
Right now it feels like it’s easier to let Cora sign the signature pad, or have the pack of gum at the store, or whatever, rather than induce a crying, kicking, and screaming episode that will only lead to tears from me and frustration from her. But easier isn’t always better, right? Parenting has to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but if I’m not her least favorite person in the world sometimes I’m not doing my job. I think it’s just tough because my other full-time job at the moment is also being pregnant. What the heck am I going to do when I’m parenting two kids and pregnant with a third? Or maybe even parenting three and pregnant with a fourth? Better yet, HOW DID MY MOM DO IT? Because the further I get down this parenting road, the more of a superhero my mom seems to be.
I truly believe Cora is a good kid. And I think I’m doing my best to raise her to respect others, behave herself, and know that she can’t always get what she wants. If she would have asked me to play with a knife in that store, I would have said no and stuck to my ground, I can promise you that much. But if she wants to sign a signature pad and that’s all it will take to make her day, then me and my 8-months-pregnant belly aren’t going to rock the boat. I just hope I’m not royally screwing her up for the sake of my own ability to deal.
How do you find the willpower to parent while pregnant? Am I lazy or just like every other tired mama out there? I’d love to hear from you. 🙂
XO,
A
