Latina

Before Orlando and I had children, we were always very excited to talk with friends of our who were half-Mexican and half-white, as our future babies would be. Admittedly, we were totally curious what they would look like, but we also always asked them how it was growing up. What culture did they identify with most, did they learn Spanish early, had they ever faced prejudice? It’s a sad reality that the question of prejudice must still be included in conversations about race, but their responses always surprised me.

One in particular, Chris Hernandez, said he noticed very early on that the way people treated him depended largely on whether they met him first or heard his name first. If, say, he was talking to someone on the phone and said his name was Chris Hernandez, he could feel them assuming he was Hispanic, that they could assume certain things about him. On the other hand, if he struck up a conversation with someone in person, and then said his name, they would give him a look of surprise since he doesn’t “look” Mexican. Whatever that means to people these days.

Chris’ words ring true for me now that I have two daughters, one with beautifully tanned skin and one with porcelain cheeks. And people often assume that because my last name is Mendez-Valdez, that I am Latina too. But that’s not the case. (Read the story of my hyphenated last name here.) The truth is, I am a white woman raising girls who are half-Mexican, half-Caucasian. I struggle at the pediatrician’s office when they ask me to check if they are white or Hispanic. Uhhhh, can I pick both? Why do they even need to know this information in 2016?

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Perhaps the biggest aspect of raising Latinas that I fret over is language. With a Spanish-speaking husband who travels frequently for work, I feel the pressure of teaching them words on my own that are not my native tongue. It’s hard enough for Latina moms to make sure their children learn Spanish. Now imagine teaching it while you’re still learning yourself. Muy difícil. Jaja. But I also know that in the 21st century, even if my children were 100% white I would want them to learn Spanish. Because it’s impossible to live in a global society and only be able to communicate with people like yourself. I wouldn’t want that for them anyways. I want them to see people who are different from them and feel a sense of curiosity, not fear. I want them to give people the benefit of the doubt, because that’s what I want others to do for them as well.

It’s inevitable that my daughters may face racism. They may have people assume things because of their last name. They may hear people make terrible accusations about their relatives who immigrated to this country with nothing but a dream and the clothes on their backs. But for goodness’ sake, if you go back far enough that’s exactly what my family tree did as well. They just came from a different part of the world. So I pray that my girls will flourish because of their mixed background, not tormented. And I hope they will intrinsically understand that people matter because of who they are, not the color of their skin. Because that’s their story, and now it’s mine, too.

XO,

A

 Latina

This is part of the #TXLatinoBlog Hispanic Heritage Month Blog Hop.

Feel free to visit my blogger friends (old and new) listed below, as we celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month together. ¡Juntos!

Follow the hashtag #TXLatinoBlog on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, too!

Que Means What– Being Latina Enough – Wednesday, 9/14
MexiMoments – Importance of Learning the Language as a Child – Thursday, 9/15
The Social Butterfly Gal – Mentoring Young Latinas – Friday, 9/16

Juan of Words – Mexican-American Culture – Monday, 9/19
Sweet Life– Food Recipes – Tuesday, 9/20
The Optimistic Heathen – Sharing Our Heritage with the Kids – Wednesday, 9/21
Modern Tejana – How to Live Your Latinidad in Mixed-Race Families – Thursday, 9/22
The Esposa Experience – Navigating the Pressures of Traditional Esposa Expectations – Friday, 9/23

The Nueva Latina – Mexican Independence Day in Guadalajara – Saturday, 9/24
FitFunAnd.com – Self-Reflection and Latino Outdoors – Sunday, 9/25

VodkaGirlATX – Latin-Inspired Cocktails – Monday, 9/26
Momma of Dos – How Mexican I grew up! – Tuesday, 9/27
Family Love in My City – Immigration – Wednesday, 9/28
Creative Meli– Basic and Healthy Latin Cooking – Thursday, 9/29
Mejorando Mi Hogar – Being Latino or Hispanic – Friday, 9/30

Power to Prevail – Body Shame in Latino Culture – Monday, 10/3
Teatrolatinegro – Latin@ Theatre Show in Houston – Tuesday, 10/4
Candypo – Being a Latino Military Spouse – Wednesday, 10/5
Coppelia Marie– Am I a Bad Latina Mom? – Thursday, 10/6
The Restaurant Fanatic – Cocina Latina – Friday, 10/7

Haute in Texas – Mothering Latinas When You’re Not a Latina – Monday, 10/10

The Fashion Lotus – Tuesday, 10/11

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