After making two breakfasts, walking the dog, getting the toddler dressed, cleaning the kitchen, starting laundry, paying bills and packing snacks for the day, everything was finally ready to go, except for me. Only five minutes before it was time for us to leave, I was still in my pajamas, sans makeup and some wild bed head. This would have been the stuff of my nightmares in my teen years, but as a mom it has become a regular occurrence.
Not flawless, but who cares? I don’t.
I situated my daughter with the iPad and let her know that I just needed a few minutes to get myself ready and put some makeup on. “Oh, do I need makeup mommy?” “No baby, you’re perfect just the way you are!” “Oh, but YOU need makeup?” I could sense that this was one of those great teachable moments and I would either nail it, or fail it! I proceed carefully; “well baby, I don’t need makeup, I just like it! Grownups wear make-up for fun!” She was satisfied with my answer, but her questions stuck with me.
Toddlers and makeup never mix well anyway, does it?
As parents especially, we’re aware of how true the old saying “actions speak louder than words” is. What do my actions, in my time spent getting ready for the day, say to my daughter? It is my desire that she accepts and love herself, just as she is. I know that I am laying the groundwork for her self confidence with what she is observing in our home, during her most impressionable years.
My “sloppy” messy bun, imperfect outfits and swab of mascara (which ALWAYS smears in this TX heat) might be an occupational hazard, but I reject the title society oftens labels us with. The mom look is often hurled as an insult, or referred to as someone who is as lazy, or has “let themselves go”. My favorite “insult” is: “You just look like such a MOM!” No duh, einstein. I am what I am, and I love what we moms are!
Perfection.
It’s taken me many years to love my appearance “au naturale”, or without hours spent making some improvements. Embracing my ever changing body is still a challenge for me. I pray my daughter never goes through the pain of self-bullying that I wasted so many years on. It would be so incredibly rewarding if I could show her how to love herself, through my actions.
Makeup is fun, and so is feeling fabulous. I welcome the rare opportunity to spend a couple hours primping for a fun night out. But, to all you moms in sweatpants, messy buns and just a touch of mascara (smeared by sweat), you are my people! I see you, I know you. I admire you. I respect the fact that you spent the first two hours of your morning feeding, bathing, dressing, the kids, cleaning the house, loading the diaper bags, packing snacks, and saving the last 5 minutes for yourself. I respect your messy bun. You are beautiful.
Anna and her daughter Mia.
Anna Angenend blogs at theannaangenendblog.com, where she writes on photography, food, decor, and education. All photography credit in the post goes to her.
To contribute to our Mama Memos series, please email Aquila at aquila@hauteintexas.com with your story idea! We want to hear your ups, your downs, your all-arounds when it comes to motherhood. Because sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad, and sometimes you want to talk about it.
XO,
A
