A common theme I’ve discovered among mothers, especially new moms, is the overwhelming need to talk about this journey we’re on. To vent about how tough it is, to laugh about how amusing it is, and ultimately to know that we’re not alone. I’ve often used this blog as a platform to share about my struggles and my sources of joy, my births and my losses. When I read today’s guest blog from Joanna Benavidez, I felt that same familiar tug between sheer happiness and heart-wrenching guilt. That struggle to find the balance in your life with a new addition to think about. Joanna is a local TV producer, so her unique schedule and tough hours create additional challenges. Read on to hear her endearing and relatable story:
It’s 11 p.m. and I shoot up from my bed, grab the baby monitor. Good, she’s asleep. Except I wasn’t the one to put her down for the night. My hubby handles that most nights.
I’m thankful she sleeps. I doubt there is a mom out there that isn’t grateful if their child sleeps through the night, MOST nights that is. She’s been a good sleeper since she was a newborn. At least since she was 6 weeks old and I had to head back to work. After all, the reality is if she was up all night that would have certainly curtailed my plans to stay at my job.
Before she arrived, health complications sent me to the hospital when I was around 6 months pregnant. The stress of my overnight hours and the demand on my body forced me to sit the rest of my pregnancy out.
Having my own complications at birth, my pregnancy wasn’t exactly stress-free. I was monitored closely by my doctor and a specialist, and I had half of the medical staff where I delivered on stand-by the day of my C-Section.
In the end, it was worth it — after all, I now have a healthy beautiful baby girl.
Now comes the real tricky part: Parenting!
I have sifted through all the advice I’m sure most new parents get — “Don’t travel with her too young.” She got her airline wings at just a month, when we took her to Baltimore for my sister’s wedding.
“Reconsider going back to work, after all they’re only young once.” True, but you can always have more. 😉 All kidding aside, I have always known I wanted to be a working mom but the reality and the idea are two very different things!
The reality is my husband gets to spend most evenings with her while I attempt to get some shut eye and then head off to work. And I often wonder if I am robbing her of the time we do have together because I haven’t slept in 12 hours after an overnight shift. And is it any different than a mom who is up all night?
The reality is, she cries when her nanny leaves in the afternoon. But why wouldn’t she? After all, my nanny is pretty great.
So what makes the balancing act worth it? It’s worth it, right? I don’t pretend to be an expert. I am not a child psychologist. I am a news producer by night and a new mom around the clock! I have no way of knowing what the future holds. And I don’t for one second think that balancing a career and a family is any harder than the role of a stay-at-home mom.
All I know is what works for me and my family. At least for now.
Joanna is a producer for KSAT’s morning show here in San Antonio. To find her on Instagram, click here. If you or someone you know has a story on motherhood to share for our MAMA MEMOS series, shoot me an email at aquila@hauteintexas.com
XO,
A
