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Dear Issa,

Tomorrow you will be one year old.  This time 365 days ago I was almost two weeks past my due date, miserably pregnant, and praying to go into labor as soon as possible.  You can read your birth story here and here to find out the rest of the story.  I’ll tell you the basic gist now though: you came into this world swiftly and soundly, surrounded by love and family.  You were born at home in the comfort of the water, and your sister met you just moments after you arrived. It doesn’t seem possible that you have already been with us for a year already, and yet it’s also difficult to remember what life was like without you.

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One of the more difficult things about motherhood is you are often so close to the moments that it’s hard to take it in from a distance.  To fully appreciate the tiny flashes of happiness and memories in the making.  I feel that even more with you since you are my second baby, and I know how fast the time will fly.  I’m also far more distracted with your sister keeping me on my toes.  So the other day, when it was just you and I on a plane, I sat you on the furthermost part of my knee and just soaked you in.  I watched your face as you looked out the window, I noticed the way your hair is curling up in the back as it grows longer, and I tried to memorize every fleck of green and blue in your beautiful eyes.  It was just a few moments, but I relished the opportunity to have no other responsibilities but you.  No other reason to be pulled away.  I was just your mama in those minutes, and it made my heart happy.

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You are growing up before my eyes, walking, talking, and learning how to throw miniature fits when big sister takes one of your toys away.  You are far more adventurous than she was at this age, so we have to constantly watch you lest you dive into the toilet again.  You’ve decided on your own that you don’t want your pacifier anymore, which is probably best since I had no experience with them and no idea when to take it away from you.  There are six ginormous teeth popping out of your smile now, four on top and two on bottom.  You have the slightest gap between your two front teeth, and I’m secretly hoping it stays because it’s adorable.

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You’ve had just a couple minor colds so far, but nothing major to worry about, thank God.  I attribute that, of course, to your love of nursing that is still going strong.  I love that you are chunky as can be, and your little fat dimples on your hands are about the cutest thing ever.  You love to be tickled on your thighs, and your ribs, and sometimes right in the little crick of your neck.  Lately we’ve been playing forts under the covers in the bed and you find it absolutely hilarious.  When we’re all playing in the living room you like to hobble around with your bucket and pick up toys to put in it.  Perhaps you’ve got your mother’s love of organization; only time will tell.

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Your birthday party is tomorrow, and we’ve got a St. Patrick’s Day theme planned since you were born so close to the holiday.  Per usual I claimed to be planning something small and turned it into a whole ordeal.  Your Nana is here in Cancun to celebrate with you, and of course all your family and friends will send you love, no matter where they are.  You rather enjoyed this smash cake before the big day, so hopefully you’ll have the same feelings regarding the actual birthday cake.  Your favorite foods are mandarin oranges, pasta, string cheese, and a single bite out of an apple before you declare it unfit to eat. 😉

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You may not remember this birthday, or the next five to come, but I think it’s still important to celebrate you and everything that you mean to this family.  You are my rainbow baby, my second chance at a second baby.  You are precious to us because you are you, but also because we now know how blessed we are to have you.  There is no way I could possibly explain to you how much I love you, it just runs that deep and that strong.  But know that I love you, little one, and there is nothing you could ever do to change that.

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XO,

Mama