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The other day I was talking to a friend on the phone and she asked me how we’re adjusting to being a family of four.  It’s funny, I replied, it feels like Issa’s always been here, like I can’t imagine our family without her already.  I sort of just said it without even really thinking about it, but then I realized how true that statement was.  It really seems like she’s been here all along, like we’ve been a family of four forever. 

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I think the shift from just a couple to a family of three felt like this overwhelming change in the fabric of our universe.  Having Cora was this Earth-shattering moment, and it took me awhile to find solid footing.  My heart aches in a familiar spot every time I hear a new mom say she didn’t think it would be this hard, that she’s struggling to know if she’s doing this right.  I just want to reach out and tell her I know exactly how she feels.  And it’s ok.  It’s alright to feel that way, it doesn’t make you a bad mom.  It just makes you a mom.

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I can’t say when, but I can tell that new mom that it does get easier.  And then one day you might even find out you’re expecting a second child.  And if that new mom is anything like me she’ll have this terrifying question in the back of her mind if she can do this.  If it will be possible to juggle all the things, be everything to everyone, and somehow keep track of who she is.  Once again, I now feel like I need to tell this new mom that she will be able to do it.  That second baby will fit right into your family like the missing piece of a puzzle.  And, as always, you’ll rise to the occasion.

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Parenting one child isn’t for the faint of heart.  Parenting two has already proven more challenging even though Issa’s barely big enough to keep her eyes open for more than thirty minutes at a time.  Just yesterday on the drive home Cora was throwing a fit because she wanted to stay at the post office and Issa started getting upset because Cora’s tantrum was waking her up.  It was all I could do to keep my eyes on the road and not let emotions take over.  But then Cora slipped into one of those cry-induced naps, and Issa faded back to sleep.  So I was left to finish the drive with just my thoughts, and they quickly turned to the realization that no matter what happens, we are now a family of four, and we are blessed to be just that – good or bad, no matter what.

XO,

A

P.S. HUGE thanks to my beautiful friend April of Pure Happiness Photography for taking these newborn/family photos of us right after Issa’s arrival. I am in love, and it took a ton of willpower to not post every single one! To find out more about her work, check out her website here.