When we found out we were expecting Cora, we thought it would be fun to keep the gender a secret. It kept our family on their toes, we got lots of gender neutral gear, and then when it turned out she was a girl we were blessed all over again when our loved ones rushed to buy up all the pink, girly ruffles, and princess gear at Babies R Us.
The second time around, we wanted to experience what it was like to know beforehand. One, because we would potentially need to prepare a few more things if it was a boy. And two, because my husband was dying to find out if he would get “his boy”. It’s extremely ironic that I have such passionate feelings towards this topic, and yet Orlando is one of the proponents of the “gotta have my boy” philosophy. I’m just shocked this way of thinking still exists in the 21st century.
I understand that it’s fun to experience the joy of having a boy, and the joy of having a girl, but is it so important that it’s worth making mothers feel guilty at worst and awkward at best if they happen to have just one or the other? Why must we make parents feel pressure to “have another quick so you can get your boy” or get your girl if you happen to be shooting males in your family. That’s one thing that surprised me when I mentioned this gender rant quite a few weeks back on Facebook. It doesn’t just affect families who don’t have a boy, it also applies to all-boy families that “gotta have their little princess”.
I’m not sure why random people still feel the need to tell you what gender you should be hoping for, or how your family make up could be improved by adding a boy or a girl. Call me crazy, but I think that’s up to the man upstairs to decide. And for our family, He decided that having two girls would be perfect for us. Maybe not perfect for you, random person at the grocery store, but perfect for us. I’m gonna trust that He knows what He’s doing, because He hasn’t led me astray yet.
And if we are blessed with another child, if it’s a girl it will be perfect. If it’s a boy it will be perfect. We will have the exact baby that is right for us, exactly when that baby is right for us to have him or her. A friend told me, “We try for healthy babies, not for a gender.” YES. Especially after having a miscarriage personally, I don’t care if I have 600 girls in a row, as long as they are all healthy. Because honestly, what are you missing out on if you don’t experience having both genders in your family? There are plenty of little boys who love getting dressed up all fancy, and there are plenty of little girls who can play catch with the best of them. Some may say passing on your last name is an important reason to have a boy, but is that really so important in today’s society? It’s not as if you’ll lose the family farm if it passes to a different last name.
So what else is left? Just a mindless old-fashioned way of thinking, in my opinion. If and when we are expecting baby number three, I don’t want to know the gender just for the sake of not having to deal with asinine comments. If and when you discover someone you know is expecting a boy OR a girl, here’s the appropriate response: CONGRATULATIONS! Annnnnnnnd that’s it. No more snarky comments about, “Oh wow, gotta try for number three now, then, huh?” Or, “Oh gosh, do you need some tips on how to try for a [insert opposite gender here] next time?” Because no, no I don’t. I’d actually rather cut off my own arm than hear about how you and your husband managed to get together and strategically create the gender of your choice. My babies, boy or girl, are perfect either way, and I’d appreciate it if you remembered that.
XO,
A
