I’m yawning as I type today’s post because this majorly pregnant mama stayed up past her bedtime last night to watch the Oscars.  Correction: I stayed up to watch the red carpet, managed to catch the first portion of the show, and decided it was time to call it a night when I thought I saw Neil Patrick Harris in his underwear.  I dreamt that, right? 😉 My friend (and fellow preggo) Tori of The sTORIbook and I got together at her house to let the kiddos play, munch on some Italian takeout, and indulge in a little cookie cake while watching svelte figures strut down the Oscars aisles.  It really is a guilty pleasure to be gaining weight by the minute and judge the sartorial choices of other women, isn’t it?  Nonetheless, here are my picks for best AND worst dressed last night:

Best Dressed

oscars 2015 best dressed

1. Scarlett Johansson

Girl knows how to WERK what she’s got, in Versace no less.  And she pulled off this emerald green color which few ever DARE to do.  Add to the perfect tailoring a major statement necklace that simply stunned on the red carpet and she was a winner in my book.  Wait, why was she there again?  Who cares, she looks smoking.

2. Lupita Nyong’o

As a presenter, sometimes actresses let their fashion take a backseat, anticipating that they won’t be the center of attention anyways.  Lupita laughed in the face of this philosophy when she appeared in this spectacular Calvin Klein number.  Who would have ever guessed Calvin Klein could put together something so regal?!  It was just the right amount of glamour and glitz for Oscars night, and Lupita looked radiant.

3.  Rosamund Pike

I never would have expected her to wear red, but she pulled it off in the best way.  This Givenchy strapless gown fit her like a glove, and the scalloped neckline was incredibly flattering.  Many were on the fence about her red heels being too matchy matchy, but I thought going with a strappy ankle and minimal design pulled the look together without feeling over the top.  The best part about this gown is as amazing as it was on screen, I’m sure the detailing and embroidery was absolutely ravishing in person.  You go girl, and she just had a baby!

Worst Dressed

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1. Emma Stone

Oh Emma, I had such high hopes for you.  This Elie Saab mustard confection just didn’t do you justice girl.  Or is it baby poop yellow as Tori said?  The more forgiving media outlets are calling it “chartreuse”, which is a really nice way to put it instead of “toddler snot”.  Add to the unflattering color a matronly neckline and washed out makeup and you just weren’t your usual self.

2. Nicole Kidman

It’s hard to tell in this photo, but when Nicole Kidman was on the Oscars stage her belt looked like it was ripped from a plastic Barbie play house of some sort.  The only thing that would have made this Louis Vuitton piece worse was the LV logo splashed across it.  It’s just not a flattering shape, not her color, and it looks tacky.  You’re not going to prom, Nicole, it’s the Oscars.  Please give us the glam we know you’re capable of!

3. Patricia Arquette

I loved your speech, Patricia, I really did.  Thank you for taking a stand for gender equality.  I just had a really hard time focusing on that with your hair all over the place.  Your hairstylist must have had a can of hairspray handy, so what gives?  The black and white column dress was apparently made for you by a dear friend, so I won’t knock it, but it was just a bit of a yawn for me.  Let’s just all focus on the fact that you’re an amazing actress and deserve every bit of recognition you receive, and it will all be ok.

Who were your picks for the best and worst dressed? Let me know in the comments!

XO,

A

P.S. All photos courtesy hollywoodreporter.com