I was originally going to title this post “5 Reasons Why Long Distance Marriage Sucks” or “Why Long Distance Love Is Harder When You’re Married With Kids” but it just felt too negative and complaint-ridden. Many of you know that Orlando plays professional basketball in Mexico, which means he’s out of the States for the better part of a year, every year. And most of you probably know that Cora and I have decided to stay here in San Antonio this year because I started a new business venture, Cora was accepted to a great school, and we knew I would have to come back mid-season anyways due to the pregnancy. Despite all the logical reasons for us to stay, it still doesn’t take away the sometimes tiny, sometimes overwhelming ache we feel when the leader of our family is missing. But in an attempt to avoid an entirely depressing post, I just want to list all the ways I miss Orlando when he’s gone, in an effort to remind myself of what I have to look forward to when he returns.
1. I miss his conversation.
2. I miss going on dates.
3. I miss having a plus one for work events.
4. I miss cooking for him.
5. I miss seeing him with Cora.
6. I miss his touch.
7. I miss his guidance.
8. I miss waking up next to him.
9. I miss his opinions.
10. I miss his annoying habits.
11. I miss waiting for him to come home at night.
12. I miss not having to make all the decisions for our Texas household.
13. I miss having someone to help me co-parent Cora.
14. I miss seeing him with our extended family.
15. I miss supporting him at his games.
16. I miss creating a little home for us wherever we are.
17. I miss laughing about our mishaps in Mexico together.
18. I miss his compliments.
19. I miss getting ready alongside him.
20. I miss knowing his teammates and where he’s traveling to this week.
21. I miss the feeling of “no plans” being no big deal.
22. I miss someone driving the car instead of me.
23. I miss having someone to ask for help, no matter what.
24. I miss him seeing my belly grow.
25. I miss him coming to our midwife appointments.
26. I miss him seeing Cora at school.
27. I miss eating junk food and then regretting it later with him.
28. I miss arguing.
29. I miss making up.
30. I miss taking Cora to see a movie together.
31. I miss goodnight kisses.
32. I miss my crazy, sweet, irritating, loveable, funny husband.
Reading back over my list, I can’t decide if I sound needy or just in love with a man who is a thousand miles away. And it may also seem like we don’t talk to him or Facetime/Skype often, but we do. It’s just not the same as in-person. We can talk about our day, but there are inevitably things I remember to tell him as soon as we hang up. And to try communicating with someone in another country, on a completely opposite schedule, with a toddler who likes to interrupt…some days we are lucky to have a solid twenty minute conversation.
I’ve had a few people make the comparison of our situation to that of a military wife whose husband is deployed. And while I’m sure they may share some of the same emotions, Orlando’s life is not in danger, nor is he gone because the government forced him to. He’s there because we have chosen this life for our family, and it provides us with far more blessing than regrets. This will be, as most things are, a temporary situation, and someday we will look back on our time living in two separate worlds as a crazy thing we did once. Until that day, we’ll thank God for the time we have together, and spend as little time as possible mourning the time we’re apart.